Can missing people be counted when they are invisible to begin with? It’s horrible to say that anyone is invisible – but we have all had the experience of being overlooked; and we’ve also been on the other side of not really seeing the person who just packed our groceries, or just stood next to us in the gas station. When one of them goes missing because of violence or trauma, who goes looking for them? While they are missing, what kind of things are happening to them?

On my walk this morning, I took a different route through our new neighborhood. I turned a corner and saw huge houses with large trees, landscaped yards with newly planted spring flowers, and circular drives. I wondered “if their walls could talk, what would they say?”

Stand With Us

We, Our Silent Voice, celebrate Pride Month to add our voice for the rights that are so hard won. And we, along with many, mourn the losses.

I think it’s about power, winning, domination, and the games boys play with each other. But when I read the submissions in our book, Our Silent Voice: End the Silence, I see plotting and agreement to hurt.  I don’t think work-jerks are the same. Some are worse and some less. But why does it happen? And when it does, why are we afraid to report it?

Who’s telling the truth? Who’s making it up? Most of us have seen movies where the truth takes twists and turns and the cleverest of all detectives finally uncover what you’d never suspect.

Our Silent Voice was designed to give voice to all of us who’ve been silenced by assault. We are resilient in our lives; we accomplish and move forward. We know writing about the compound fracture of trauma is a positive act, one that can lead to a fierce, healing strength.

When I reported one boss, who offered me the “bonus” of “punishment” sex, the police told me to “go with the flow.” He was wealthy, he knew people, he had more power than I did. There was no recourse. What does it take to get a creep convicted? Ask the women who accused Cosby, Weinstein, or the aforementioned Nassar. It takes years and years.

Violence does not discriminate. There is no such thing as setting yourself up for an attack. It is not your fault and it’s not about you.

very once in a while, you find a drunk who can be called a happy drunk. More often than not, in contrast, the substance that deletes inhibitions releases bitterness or an argumentative side, also can release a rage that has been boiling deep below the surface. Alcohol and drugs can fan the flames of outrageous behavior and give the user frightening strength.

Forgiveness is universally defined in the Bible: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” 8 Psalm 32:1. The radical approach says they, who violated you, don’t care and probably don’t even remember it happened.

When I wanted to report the constant request from my boss to meet after work for sex, I couldn’t report it. Why? Because I was the HR department! I had no one to tell and when a co-manager found out about my firing, he advised me to keep my head down and stay quiet.

Don’t be lazy. As a writer, you need to dive deep... so the reader can experience the loss, anxiety and trauma with your character.

We all thought Cathy was okay, but she was not. I asked myself what I could have done differently, or what I would do now if a friend were in an unspeakable situation like that. I’ve learned to listen – and listen long and hard.

“Another possible reason why writing about trauma might be helpful is that it affords us the ability to reprocess our experience from a safe place, enabling us to experience a type of mastery and control over the trauma, and overcome the sense of helplessness.”

In an 2018 article from Harper's Bazaar, Jennifer Wright quotes Margaret Atwood, "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them." In the article, Jennifer notes the Huffington Post article, "Who Is Killing American Women? Their Husbands And Boyfriends, CDC Confirms."